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The Dave Riley Show

July 3, 2010

Ed: Yes, it's the Dave Riley Show, now here's your host and mine, Dave Riley

Dave: Hello everybody.  [takes seat behind his desk]  Well, did you know that when they started out Independence Day, they called them illuminations, fireworks I mean.?

Ed: No, I did not know that.

Dave: Yep, it's true. Ben Franklin predicted we'd celebrate the day with them.  But, most small towns just had picnics or cookouts and the local band would play. The fireworks came later.  Well, I'm sponsoring the fireworks display this July 4th. I hope everyone comes out to the park. They're going to have free hot dogs, too.

Ed: I can't make it.

Dave: Why not?

Ed: I'm going over to Romneyville to be grand marshal of their parade.

Dave: Romneyville?  You have any idea how much this fourth of July is costing me? Romneyville doesn't even have fireworks.

Ed: Well, I promised I'd go.

Dave: Grand Marshal?  How'd you get that?  I've never been a grand marshal. You get to ride in some convertible with Miss Blonde Hottie?

Ed: Yeah, that's they say. Miss Dairy Queen, actually.

Dave: Miss Dairy Queen?  Won't the folks at Dairy Queen restaurants complain about that?

Ed: I don't know.

Dave[reading from teleprompter]: Well, our first guest tonight is Miss Dairy Queen from Romneyville.  What?  What happened to Ron the fireworks guy who's going to talk about my fireworks display?

Ed: He's not coming.

Heather, Miss Dairy Queen, comes out and waves at the audeince and sits down.

Dave [glares at Ed] How do you get to be Miss Dairy Queen?

Heather: Well, Ed and some other judges picked me at the county fair.

Dave: Ed and some other judges?  What other judges?

Heather: There was this guy, Mark. He sold me some insurance on my dog.  And this guy Jack.

Dave: I want my fireworks guy.

Jack: [takes his trademark headphones off. The studio lights glare off his bald head.] He cancelled out. What can I say?

Heather: Hi Jack.

Dave: I can't believe this.  We'll be right back.


Posted at: 12:54 AM | Add Comment

Ed said...

Well, never misunderestimate the intelligence of the blonde Queen of Dairy Queen! Mark certainly never has, and Jack's constant attempts to correct her diction and spelling have gone for naught. Perhaps she gave out her 900 number; maybe she has nightly conversations with "The Decider."

Posted July 5, 2010 07:52 PM | Reply to this comment

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